Perfect

Ok, I know the concept of being a perfect wife and a perfect mother is crazy.  It just does not work because you always have something pulling you away from perfection.  But, what happens when you feel you are so far from perfection that you border on failure?  Ok.. I guess I don't think I am a failure, just so far from perfect.  Hmm... I really wish I could expound on this, but because it is not just one big incident that makes me feel less then perfect I guess you can either understand or not understand.  I mean, I know I cannot be a Super Mom - take care of the kids, work full time, do everything around the house and be bright and cheery all the time.  At least Nick knows that neither one of us can do everything alone.

Case in point.  In a perfect world.  I would arrive home from work energized to see my kids.  After hellos I would proceed to the kitchen and take the steak out of the refridgerator because I thought ahead of time and place it there.  Then, as the theme song from "Entertainment Tonight" was heard from the kitchen TV I would be placing the above mentioned steaks on the grill and already getting the biscuits ready to cook.  We would start eating before 7.  Afterwards Nick and I (or in a even more dream world, my father in law) would clean up dinner and the kids.  I would then go throw a load of laundry in the washing machine and look through the mail, throwing the junk out while I pay the bills.  At 8 the laundry would go in the dryer and I would play with the kids (or give them a bath).  At about 8:30pm we would have the kids brush their teeth and then we would get them ready for bed so they would be in bed before 9.  Then off to a shower for me.  Last, I would be all ready for bed and watching the 10pm news from my bed.

In my real world.  I come home from work and say Hi to the kids and proceed to sit on the couch because I am so tired.  Sometimes I head into the kitchen at 6:30 only because my father-in-law has turned the TV station to the "Dukes of Hazzard" and I want to watch "ET".  Either way if I have to cook dinner I don't even think about it till around 7.  And usually it involves thawing something out, so that takes 15-20 min and means I don't even really start making dinner till 7:30.  Then we start eating about 8.  This means at around 8:30 we are pilling dishes (that can't go in the dishwasher) into the sink - and they may or may not be washed that night.  We are so tired we go hang out in the living room till about 9 and then proceed to get the kids ready for bed and into bed by 9:30.  Then sometimes I take my shower or I wait till after the news.. and I usually get to bet about 11:15 or 11:30.. no clothes washed and the mail just piling up on the dining room table.

Phew... no wonder I am not perfect, I just got exhausted thinking about it!  But really, I wish I could be closer to that perfect world *sigh*

C-Ya!