Thursday, November 17, 2005

Me to give...

I often feel in life I do not give 100%. Sometimes because it is easy to coast by.. other times because I cannot physically feel up to it. And it is a hard way to live. I am jealous of those that can stay at home, clean their house and cook the dinners and still have time to scrap or knit. I am jealous of those that can own one company, run another and still have time for a week vacation someplace nice at least twice a year. And I am jealous of those that can better them self and have the time and energy to do so.

I know I don't give Nick and the kids 100%. Often times I sit around while Nick cooks dinner and works on the house or I will be on the couch resting while the kids are playing and I know I should join in. Tuesday night I actually got up and danced with Samantha to some of the songs on the CMAs.. and she was so happy!

I know I don't give my work 100%. Though work is slow.. and I know I am not holding anyone up.. I just wish I could do more.

I know I don't give my friends 100%. Often times we try to make plans and I just sit back because I am worried I will have the money and energy to do what we are planning. And though I know I could drive to their places, I rarely make it a point.

I know I don't give life 100%.
And this weekend I did not give my Scrapshare friends 100%.... kind of bums me out because this was a once in a lifetime opportunity to meet some of them. Most people said I was so much quieter then they thought I would be ... but I wanted to talk more... I just did not have the energy (though I will admit getting 7 hours of sleep combined in 2 nights never helps).

On that note... I did try to get some sleep last night... but I still feel so out of sorts... and it does not help that I came back to winter - especially since I hate winter.


1 comment:

tosin said...

Yeah, I get this feeling... way better than I should. You're definitely not alone.

Try thinking of it this way, if you are doing the best you can do - that is YOUR 100%. You DO give your 100%.

(it doesn't help, does it?)

(if you figure out, let me know how to do it)